"Watch Your Step!"

Late summer in the Swan valley produces beautiful meadows with thick, dense grass four feet and taller. I was walking around in one of those meadows last August when I came upon a creek that forced me to decide whether I would cross it or retrace my steps. I hate back-tracking, so I found a place in the creek I thought I could jump across. The opposite bank was covered in thick grass. I stepped back three or four paces, took a couple of long strides and jumped. When my right foot hit the opposite bank, I realized the bottom where my heel was supposed to land was washed away. The weight of my body with no support under my heel thrust my leg backward in a bend that could have made the NFL's turn-your-stomach-to-watch injury highlights. There was significant damage to my knee.

After a few months and three more re-injuries, I decided it was time to have surgery. I was not quite prepared for what was to come. The doctor tried to tell me everything that could happen…and I'm certain he covered everything he should have. I expected pain. It came. I expected inconvenience. It came. I expected interrupted sleep at night. It came. There is one thing I don't recall him telling me-probably because he took for granted it was something I would anticipate-after the operation I would need to learn how to walk again.

The surgery caused enough swelling and pain for me not to pay any attention to the muscles in my leg. After a couple of weeks, I returned to have the stitches removed. The therapist came in…seemed like a nice guy…and asked me to tighten the muscles in my upper leg. I couldn't do it. The muscles in my leg would not respond. I was pretty discouraged.

Over the next few days, the therapist went from a nice guy to a person determined to do his job to rehabilitate my leg muscle. He wasn't concerned about the pain I'd had in surgery-he was focused on the pain it would take to bring my leg function back again. He has all these little signs plastered on his office walls about hard work…no short cuts to recovery…and enduring pain without complaining. It was obvious this would not be easy.

Walking was something I had taken for granted my entire life. Because I took a careless step in a beautiful meadow, I now had to build up the strength I needed to learn how to do it all over again. Perhaps its great value in our life is the reason walking is used in the Bible to describe a person's relationship with God. Consider Noah's description in Genesis 6: Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God. God loves us and wants us to follow the truths in His Scripture as we travel through life in much the same way we would follow a map and a compass if we were walking through the Bob Marshall Wilderness. 2 Corinthians 5:7 describes this journey using God's divine map and compass of Scripture; …for we walk by faith, not by sight. When we follow a map and compass in the dense cover of a forest, we take each step based on the faith and confidence we have in the map and compass, not by our ability to see our destination. Like trusting the map and compass the more we use it, we learn through experience that God is trustworthy and that we can trust Him to guide our steps. In Isaiah 42:16, God makes it clear that He wants to help us on this journey: I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. As we gain more and more experience, we begin to walk like God…in much the same way we see small children who idolize their father trying to imitate his stride. Ephesians 5:1,2 captures the image well: (Ephesians 5:1-2 DNT) Be ye therefore imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, even as the Christ loved us…

Walking can also be a description of a person's alienation from God as well. Judges 2:17 describes a new generation who turned their backs on God: Yet they would not listen to their judges but prostituted themselves to other gods and worshiped them. Unlike their fathers, they quickly turned from the way in which their fathers had walked, the way of obedience to

the Lord's commands… In the same way that I made a poor choice of where to walk in the meadow, God gives each of us a choice of whether or not we will follow Him. The good news is that if we fall because we make a poor choice, God becomes our spiritual physician and therapist to get us back on our feet again. Psalms 145:14 tells us: The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. But, in order for Him to help us when we fall, we need to want His help: For I am ready to fall, and my pain is ever with me. I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin. Do not forsake me, O LORD; O my God, do not be far from me; make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation. (Psalms 38:17-18,21-22 NRSV)

Whereas, it is comforting to know God will 'operate and take us through therapy' spiritually if we stumble and fall, the best is to concentrate on taking the best possible path each moment. Ephesians 5:15 tells us: Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise…

Enjoy your walk…just be careful where you step!

There is one other redeeming part of physical therapy…it provides an opportunity to think about things you need to do while you endure seemingly endless repetitions of exercises. My last visit to the therapist came right in the middle of writing this article. Even though I knew the topic was the parent/child relationship, I couldn't seem to think of an opening. Since I knew from previous conversations with the physical therapist that he had children, I asked him if he had any experiences that had a ring of universal truth. His response was that his daughter routinely asked that he not embarrass her. The more I thought about his comment on the way back to my office, I realized he was right. Every one of our four children has told me at some point in their teenage years (I believe 13 must be the age) that I embarrassed them in front of their friends.

But the kids were not the only members of my family who asked that I not embarrass them. When I was a teenager, my parents gave me the distinct impression that they would not be pleased at all if I did anything that would embarrass them. I never linked the two together before now-that the young teenager is easily embarrassed by the parent, but as the teenager gets older (the tables turn and) the parent hopes to survive those years without being embarrassed by the child. Isn't it interesting that both parents and children spend time worrying that one will embarrass the other?

Scripture seems to indicate this could be a healthy concern. Consider the proper roles of the parents. Proverbs 31 describes the model wife and mother: A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. This wife and mother is a person of dignity and a role model any child would be proud to call 'Mom'…certainly not an embarrassment.

As for the Dads, before any man was considered for the role of leadership, his abilities as a father were examined. 1 Timothy says about the man considered as an overseer; He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) The deacon was expected to be able to manage his children and his household well. Titus tells us an elder was to be a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.

God set high standards for parents and has a specific job for them. In Deuteronomy God instructs the parents; Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. How will our children know about God if we don't tell them? Who else can we trust to do the job?

Instruction about God is not their only job. Proverbs 13 tells the parent, He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 19 says, Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 23 tells us, Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death. In Proverbs 29 we are told, To discipline and reprimand a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child. If you have been in a family restaurant where several families of parents and small children were present, you were probably able to pick out the mother who was disgraced by an undisciplined child.

Ephesians 6 sets the standard for both children and parents, particularly the fathers. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. The father who operates according to God's standards will not exasperate his children…and they will not resent obeying their parents.

When that happens, no one embarrasses anyone…unless in jest.